February 6th, 2018
‘Tis the Season to be Merry. It is also the season to get asked to be married. If you start to feel yourself becoming a Scrooge or Grinch when you see another couple post their engagement photos on Facebook with the obligatory ring photo, you are not alone. The holidays are a time that couples often celebrate their love, making it an ideal and popular time to propose. If you are not in a relationship, engagement season can leave you feeling pretty down regarding your relationship status. You are not alone, even though you may be feeling that way. Here are few tips to stay strong during the engagement season:
The first thing you can do to stay strong is to stop comparing. This is easier said than done, especially if family members, friends and people close to you are either already married, having families or close to it. It is easy to assume and long for a situation when you are looking at it from the outside, but we don’t know the intricate nature of theirrelationship. It may be completely opposite from what you want. When you compare your situation with others it can lead to disappointment if we do not measure up to the standard we perceive as the norm or what we desire.
Society or even the people in our lives may suggest a time frame that is appropriate for engagement and marriage. It is important to accept where you are, whether you are single or in a relationship. Accept that in this moment it is ok and it won’t be forever, unless you choose for it to be. If we accept where we are at, we can start to manage feelings and then look forward to what we want in future relationships and take action to get that.
It is easy to get stuck and stay focused on the things that we want and don’t have, rather than be mindful and grateful of the things that we do. Try to be mindful of the friends, family, and people that are in your life. Take time to tell them that you appreciate them and plan activities to fill your schedule with company that makes you feel good and feel loved.
I propose that you stay strong and focused on the things that make you happy. The most important relationship that we have is the one that we have with ourselves. When we choose to focus on the things that make us happy and fill our life, the tips listed above become easier and more of a priority. Do the things that bring you joy, whether it is a work out class, dinner with friends, a night in with Netflix or a bubble bath. Figure out what brings you joy, and do it! You’ll be focused on you and your happiness, the happiness and engagement of another couple will be something to congratulate. By Nicole Carl, LPC Therapist
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