April 30th, 2020
It is not uncommon these days to be a first-hand witness to divorce. Whether it is your divorce, your parent's divorce, or a friend’s divorce, it is widely known and accepted as the way in which many relationships succumb today. In fact, about 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. According to McKinley Irvin Family Law, when looked at more closely, the breakdown of marriages ending in divorce are as follows:
Couples who decide to end their marriages usually hope for both a simple and smooth process in order to move on with their lives and their future. However, this is not necessarily the case, especially if children are involved. One of the biggest reasons couples must continue to communicate post-divorce is for the sake of their children.
One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of divorce is the concern for the children of the couple. When children are involved, the focus of a divorce can quickly turn to the well-being, both physically and mentally of the children. According to children-and-divorce.com,
“50% of all North-American children will witness the divorce of their parents. Almost half of them will also see the breakup of a parent's second marriage.”
This experience can and will impact a child’s view of marriage, relationships, trust, mental health, physical health, and social experiences.
It has also been studied and proven that:
“Children from divorced homes have more psychological problems, than children from which one of the parents has died.” (Robert E. Emery,- Marriage, Divorce and Children's Adjustment- Sage Publications, 1988).
Based on this research, it is essential that parents of children who have gone through a breakup or divorce need to develop a healthy and effective communication style in which they can continue to jointly raise their children. This is made possible by what is known as co-parenting.
Co-parenting is the way in which divorced parents who have children together are able to raise their children together in an agreeable and cohesive manner. Furthermore, the parents must put aside their differences and sustain open communication regarding important decisions for the well-being of their children.
A few examples of the types of joint decisions they might make together for their children include:
The ability to co-parent is not as easy as it sounds. It can take both a lot of work and courage to try to maintain a relationship with your ex in order to create as much coherency and dedication towards decision-making for the sake of your children. The health and well-being of your children should be the top priority both during and after a breakup.
In order to support your children if they are going through a divorce, the best way to learn how to communicate openly and effectively with your ex is through the use of applying co-parenting techniques. But how do you get started? Attend co-parenting therapy with your ex. Although challenging to do, it is sure to benefit everyone involved, especially your children.
Remember that therapy is not always easy. Making the decision to go is the first and most important step. Once you can both commit to attending co-parenting therapy, you should both feel better knowing that this is what is best for your children.
At Clarity Clinic, we have highly trained staff who specialize in psychotherapy and psychiatry services. To learn more about how we can support your mental health, call Clarity Clinic on (312) 815-9660 or schedule an appointment today.
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